Birthline: More than just layettes…

by: Jena Hartman

As Birthline continues to work with many area social service agencies to assist low-income families with layettes and baby equipment, the Birthline staff and I have come to realize that it is often beneficial for the Birthline clients that we share with them information regarding other resources for services, additional clothing and equipment.  One of those resources is the Walk-In- Breastfeeding Clinic.

Each Wednesday from 4:30 to 8:00 p.m., Kathy McCoy, RN, IBCLC, conducts a free-of-charge breastfeeding clinic here at the Catholic Center.  First of all, let me share a bit about Kathy.  The “alphabet soup” after her name indicates that she is a registered nurse and a certified lactation specialist; she is on staff at Methodist Hospital.  Also, she is married and the mother of five adult daughters and the grandmother of 14!  Knowing that about her, tells that she has seen or experienced just about everything both as a mother and grandmother as well as professionally in the realm of babies and breastfeeding.  Kathy is one of the most kind, caring, patient, generous, loving and knowledgeable people that I have ever had the privilege of calling “friend.”  Kathy also volunteers one afternoon each week here at Birthline.

The Walk-In-Breastfeeding Clinic is one of several offered here in the Indianapolis area; but it is special in many aspects.  There is no charge for coming to this clinic.  The mothers are welcome to come as many times as they want to come. (Others are only one or two classes.) Kathy also carries her cell phone with her to assist anxious moms.  She will answer a call except while working or in church to help resolve the issue at hand for mom and baby.

Kathy believes that having a baby and choosing to breastfeed is a “family event.”  For that reason, dads are welcome at Kathy’s clinic. (Dads are not allowed to attend most other classes.)  She has observed that the dads are so involved with their own baby that they are oblivious to the other mothers and their babies in the session.

For many of the moms who come to Kathy’s clinic, purchasing a breast pump is not an option.  When a breast pump is donated to Birthline, we have no idea if it is complete or in working order.  By giving it to Kathy, she is able to sterilize it at her home and complete it with spare parts from her “collection.”  This is a winning situation for everybody  --  a happy mom receives a working, sanitized piece of equipment and instruction from a knowledgeable person at no charge.

Birthline often receives other breastfeeding specific items.  By giving them to Kathy, she is able to share them with the mothers who attend the clinic who need and will use these items.

Recently, I had a social worker share an experience with me.  This particular social worker had a mother who very much wanted to breastfeed her new infant.  The mom had had the one class offered by the hospital, but was not being successful at home.  The baby was not doing well, the mom was frantic and as a “last recourse” the social worker brought the mom and baby to Kathy’s clinic.  I one hour’s time, Kathy taught the mom correct techniques, soothed the baby to enable successful nursing and the social worker was amazed!  A relieved social worker, a grateful mom and a peacefully sleeping baby with a full tummy happily left the Breastfeeding Clinic. 

If Kathy knows in advance that a Spanish-speaking mother would like to come to the Clinic, she can arrange for a Spanish-speaking nurse to join them.  Kathy’s goal is to have healthy, nourished babies and happy mothers, regardless of their economic status or their language/culture.  I have dropped in several times, and it is a roomful of happiness and friendship.

The Walk-In-Breastfeeding Clinic is a personal ministry of Kathy’s.  She does not receive any grant money or other funding.  But the benefit that she provides to the attending mothers and their babies is priceless.  Birthline is happy to include The Walk-In-Breastfeeding Clinic as part of our resource list for the mothers who come to us for layettes.  Kathy McCoy has touched hundreds of new mothers and babies and their lives are happier and healthier.  Kathy is a blessing to many, many people! J   

Sometimes It’s the Little Things

As someone who works for the Church, I’m always looking for ways to evangelize and to engage individuals in the faith.  One way to reach people is through social media, such as Facebook, blogposts, Twitter, and Instagram.  As an office team, we are preparing to leap into another social media platform – podcasting! So a few weeks ago, I spent time contacting a number of companies that host podcasts.  The criteria I laid out for my search included the following:

1)      The cost of the service could be paid by check

2)      A company which offers important technical features such as integration into iTunes, mobile options, ability to embed episodes, etc.

3)      A company which is friendly and encouraging of non-profit organizations

4)      A company which has a variety of plan options that one could “grow into”

5)      The cost of the service fit the budget

When I reached out to Buzzsprouts.com to learn more about their company, Alban from the customer service department responded immediately and let me know that the monthly bill could only be paid by credit card.  When I replied to thank him for his e-mail and told him that I would be investigating other options, Alban wrote back and communicated to me that in 2008 Buzzsprouts was launched to help churches and non-profits spread their message online.  After further conversation where I described how we would be using podcasts to evangelize in the area of pro-life and family life, Alban graciously worked with me to provide a podcast plan to the Office of Pro-Life and Family Life that fit all of my criteria.

If you are thinking about starting a podcast, consider Buzzsprouts. They have stellar customer service, a Podcasting 101 Guide with tips and best practices, and flexible pricing options.  They met all my criteria and more!

The Office of Pro-Life and Family Office staff is currently working on Chapter 3 of the Podcasting 101 Guide – Creating a Solid Plan.  Stay tuned for our first episode.

Beyond the Puppy Dogs and Rainbows

by Scott Seibert, Marriage and Family Enrichment Coordinator

In many ways one can consider February to be the month of love.  While one can argue that Valentine’s Day is too secular or notorious in our culture, Valentine’s Day is a wonderful time to reflect on the true meaning of love.  When speaking of love, it seems that one of two extremes is usually emphasized.  Either the limerence phase of love where two lovers are infatuated with one another is promoted as the meaning of “true love,” or love is regarded as painful, short lived, and not worth the heartache.  Within all of this, a beautiful middle ground that lays hidden deep below the surface.  The beautiful reality of love is that it is enduring, merciful, ever richer, and full of discovery.  Does that mean that love never hurts?  On the contrary, love is full of heartache, pain, and suffering.  Yet, that’s not the end of the story with love.  Too often in our humanity, suffering is seen as something to be avoided, as a sign that things are wrong.  In its deepest sense, one could make a case for that being true.  Yes, we are a fallen race, but we are also a redeemed race!  As Christians, we know that suffering is the path our Lord chose for redemption.  In the same way that eating healthy and exercising is the painful path towards wellness, perseverance and forgiveness is the path towards relationship wellness.  The end game is beautiful, despite the struggles along the way.  Suffering, if done with faith, hope, and love, is often the path towards deeper intimacy and connection. 

In Pope Francis’ morning meditation on Wednesday, July 3, 2013, the Feast of St. Thomas the Apostle, our Holy Father reflected on the encounter between Thomas and Jesus after the resurrection in the gospel of John.  In the Pope’s meditation, he reflects on the apostle touching the wounds of Christ.  It was only after St. Thomas touched the wounds that he was able to proclaim Jesus as Lord and God.  In much the same way, it is only after we touch the wounds of our loved ones, so-to-speak, that we are truly able to see the depths of our loved ones’ beauty, of who they truly are.  We must take the time to share our wounds, and learn to grow together, to heal together, and learn to recognize Christ Jesus’ presence in all of it!

This month, do more than chocolates and flowers, and instead, take the time to share your wounds and practice the power of forgiveness.  Below is an outline of a Couples Examen, based in the Ignatius Spiritual Tradition that can offer a moment of meditation for you and your loved one to pray a little bit deeper, to share a little bit deeper, and to forgive a little bit deeper. 

Couple’s Examen (BAKER)

Begin by inviting the Holy Spirit into your time of prayer with your spouse.  Sit in silence for a moment and direct your thoughts on your marriage.  You can use this Examen to reflect on your day, week, month, or any other moment in time, but keep it centered on your relationship with your spouse.

1.       Blessings

a.       What blessings and graces are present in your marriage past and/or present?

b.      What are you thankful for? Particularly, what qualities, attributes, and experiences in and with your spouse are you thankful for?

2.       Ask

a.       Continuing from blessings, what are the fruits of your marriage?  Where have you seen growth?  Where is it easy to see Christ’s presence in your marriage? 

b.      What are the areas of hurt or areas that need work?

c.       Pray together for the Spirit to reveal to you His answer to these questions.

3.       Kill

a.       Our sins crucified Jesus, so here we reflect on our own sins.

b.      Where have I hurt, or how have I hurt (aka. Killed) the dignity of my spouse and our marriage?

c.       What are the sins I have committed and am I committing?

4.       Embrace

a.       Allow God’s love to pour through you to your spouse. 

b.      Embrace your spouse as s/he is in this moment.

c.       If the hurt is too painful, in this moment ask for the grace to be able to forgive now or in the future. 

5.       Resolution

a.       What are those areas we are going to work on together and resolve to do better?  Make them as concrete as possible. 

End this moment of prayer with a simple heart prayer, Our Father, or Hail Mary.

A few days to keep in mind

• February 5 – Day of Prayer for the African American Family
• February 7-14 – National Marriage Week
• February 12 – World Marriage Day
• February 14 – Valentine’s Day

Serving My Lord and Savior

by Jená Hartman, Birthline Coordinator

When I began to volunteer for Birthline nine years ago, it was a “nice” thing to do, meeting delightful people and assisting those in need.  Six years ago, when this permanent position of Birthline Coordinator was created and offered to me, I began to realize the impact this ministry has for the community and for the Archdiocese.

It has taken many people, in various capacities, to help the 1,200+ families during this past year.

• The phone volunteers who schedule client appointments.
• The volunteers at the Catholic Center who receive donations, sort the donations, clean equipment, replace batteries in donated toys, and escort the Birthline clients to their cars or bus stop with their layettes and items received. 
• The parishes that keep “donation bassinets” in their churches to gather weekly donations from their members. 
• The parishes that have annual donation drives for Birthline. 
• The school children who sponsor diaper drives or “birthday parties for Baby Jesus.”
• The retail stores that donate clothes and baby items. 
• The gracious people who send financial gifts to Birthline.

During these past six years, I have had the privilege of meeting many social workers representing several social service agencies, homeless shelters, healthcare providers and legal offices.  These entities have learned about Birthline, send their clients to us and know that we attempt to share and provide for the needy families in the best way possible -- in a spirit of caring and love for a precious Baby who was born in a stable in Bethlehem many years ago.  Professionally, this would be termed “networking.” 

Personally, I call it “serving and loving my Savior.”  This position, as Birthline Coordinator, is a far cry from my educational background as well as my professional experience of being a food technologist.  However, managing this ministry has been more fulfilling than a fancy title, company travel and generous paychecks.  Each day, Our Lord uses me.  He uses all of the volunteers.  He uses the various other departments here at the Catholic Center who assist Birthline in many ways.  He uses my director and administrative assistant to give this ministry new ideas and support.  If we really think about it, Birthline and the families whom we help is more-encompassing than we realize – we (the many working together) are serving our Lord.  In turn we receive His blessings. Scripture tells us “in giving, you shall receive.”  I receive every day.  The Lord uses me every day.  We help people every day.  Isn’t it wonderful? 

Feel called to give gently used or new baby items to Birthline?  Find at out more here.  For more information about Birthline, including volunteer opportunities, please visit the Birthline webpage.

The Season of Giving and Caring

by Joni LeBeau, RN, Health Ministries Coordinator

Love is not measured by what we say, but by what we do.

Four and one half million adults in the United States have provided unpaid care to an adult or child in the past year.  According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) 21 percent of households have members who require the caring attentiveness of others.  The impact of the work done by Caregivers adds up to an economic value of over $450 billion dollars per year.  Many care receivers are able to maintain their independence and remain part of their communities because of caregiving.

Caregiving is not an easy task - it is demanding, challenging, gut-wrenching, exhausting and rewarding. Sometimes it seems what is needed to be successful is the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon and the virtue of St. Teresa of Calcutta.

As a caregiver you are a loving, giving, courageous person.  You are one who answers the needs of your loved one.  Rest assured your life is better and blessed for your efforts. I like to believe that caregiving is an opportunity to understand, to grow closer, to forgive, to remember, to share, and to validate life’s relationships. 

Success relies on prayer and the willingness to share the burden.  Involve your family, your parish family and community. All have resources available to help you. 

Caregiving should never be a solo activity, when you invite others to participate you are offering them the opportunity to be an active participant in God’s loving touch.  Don’t hesitate to ask!  Caregiving is important work, one worthy of support from family friends and faith communities. 

 

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To learn information about caregiving, please visit the Catholic Health Association website.

Catholic Charities Indianapolis sponsors monthly caregiver support groups for family members/friends who are caregivers of older adults. Meetings are open to the community and are a way for adult caregivers to share and learn from each other. Please confirm attendance and for additional information, contact Monica Woodsworth at 261-3378 or mwoodsworth@archindy.org.

Northside:
Date: Thursday December 15 2016, 5:30 – 7 pm. ONE WEEK EARLY DUE TO CHRISTMAS.
Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Church, 4610 N Illinois Street 46208
Topic: open discussion

Southside:
Date: Monday December 12 2016, 5:30 – 7 pm. ONE WEEK EARLY DUE TO CHRISTMAS.
Location: St. Mark Catholic School, 541 E Edgewood Avenue 46227
Topic: open discussion

Dec 17, 2016:  Free caregiver social event. Attend with your loved one or on your own. Mind-Body-Soul Connection hosts these events throughout the year in different areas of the city. Details here.

Access CICOA’s free caregiver video series anytime here.

 

Holidays and Divorce

Deb VanVelse, Divorce Ministry/Bereavement Ministry Coordinator

The pain of divorce is difficult any time of the year, but it intensifies around the holidays.  Beginning early in November, we are surrounded with reminders of what’s to come; Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Cherished memories become painful reminders of what we’ve lost.  Rituals and traditions are threatened.  Our children, whether old or young, worry.  Where will they spend Christmas?  Will they see their cousins during the holidays?  Extended family wonders how to carefully navigate our divorce or separation.  Added to holiday turmoil is the array of feelings that might attack us daily; anger, sadness, fear, guilt, anxiety, hopelessness.  It can become unbearable.

I remember my despair the first Christmas when I was going through my divorce.  I felt my husband of 34-years, the father of my children, ruined Christmas.  I wanted to reveal his faults.  I wanted him to know the pain he caused our family.  I was heartbroken and angry.  Without my Catholic faith, I could have caused nearly irreparable damage to myself, my children, and my husband. 

That year, I cried privately and prayed my way through the holidays.  Never before had I felt God’s presence so strongly.  Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Eucharist, and constant conversation with God, I gained wisdom.  God helped me navigate my way through the season without regrets.  I was able to be honest with my family about what I needed that holiday season.   I was able to allow my children to love their father without them feeling guilty, or fearful of betraying me.  I was able to see that life would get better, our family would survive, and new cherished memories would develop over time. 

We cannot minimize our pain when going through a divorce.  It’s the death of a marriage. We are grieving.  Jesus knows it hurts.  The good news is Jesus will walk with us through a difficult holiday season.  He will give us strength to set our egos aside.  He will help us be gentle with ourselves and all of those who are affected by our divorce.  He will comfort us and help us begin anew.

If you are suffering this year and would like help getting through the holidays, please visit our website - www.archindy.org/divorcesupport - to find information on a November retreat for the separated and divorced. 

 

Please reach out Deb VanVelse can be reached at (317) 236-1586 or by e-mail if you have additional questions.

Encountering Jesus, the Merciful Healer

On a warm evening in late August, I greeted five of the most courageous women I have ever met. They might tell you that they were apprehensive of meeting me, the other team members, and each other.  While the backgrounds of the women varied–mid-30 to mid-60’s, lifelong Catholics, converts, teachers, accountants & homemakers – they were each seeking one thing: healing from their past abortions. 

Women often experience a variety of negative physical, spiritual, moral, and psychological consequences after abortions including grief, depression, withdrawal from family and friends, deep and unrelenting anger at herself and others, alcohol and drug abuse, fear that God will punish them for committing the “unforgiveable sin,” and anniversary reactions. 

At the beginning of the retreat, I compared their abortions to a physical wound – one that perhaps they had tried to ignore for years, one that was festering and that needed to be cleaned from the bottom up.  Just as a doctor can only prepare a wound for healing by cleaning it, so too, these woman could only prepare to be healed from their abortion by God.  This preparation would include seeking to understand and honestly face their abortions, learning about the many factors that that led to abortion, and examining abortion as both a shattering decision and traumatic event.  In addition, they prayed and meditated on Christ’s response to sinners, which is always mercy, and imagined hearing the words of Christ to the woman caught in adultery: Has no one condemned you?  Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more. (Jn. 8:11)

The discussion and activities they participated in prepared them to encounter Jesus, the Merciful Healer, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and entrust their children to the God the Father’s loving care. 

It was an incredibly moving experience to witness how the healing and merciful grace of Christ transformed these five courageous women. 

After the retreat, two of the women shared the following testimonies:

The Project Rachel Retreat provided a great sense of love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace to my heart’s festering wound.  I began tending the wound 8 years earlier, and now, 32 years after my abortion, I finally felt the kiss of Jesus on my heart which provided the healing closure I needed.  I am freed from my bondage of guilt and shame.  I am free to love Him completely. 

I had been carrying pain from my experiences for some 40 years.  I was in denial and didn’t even realize how much I was suffering and how much pain I had caused.  Talking with other women, praying and participating in the exercises and ceremonies at the retreat opened my heart to my unborn child and helped me to receive God’s perfect gift of love, healing, and forgiveness.

The next Project Rachel Retreat will be held March 31-April 1, 2017 in the greater Indianapolis area. If you know someone in need of healing after abortion, please pray for them and encourage them to please to call, (317) 452-0054, or email projectrachel@archindy.org, or visit our website at www.archindy.org/projectrachel. All inquiries and retreat locations are confidential.